Em Efil dna Em Thguoht

Seems like I won’t be able to make it down this time, Gregie Bear, Yennie and 太阳公公…  Blame kurise sensei, that is what he said.  The eggs will come from Westmead and now we have to rely on the post and the hopefully the spores will still be viable.  Something beyond my control, how fun is it.  No matter what happen, forward we must go.  The primary clusters must be reestablished.

This time: 皇上不急太监急  Shit, I haven’t even push the panic button as usual and someone is already in that mode already.  I once again enjoy the calmness and peace I once missed.  Don’t worry boss, I have everything all plan out ^^
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Riichi, U. (2004), Chapter 9 – Mysterious Sign, Afternoon KC, 2, pp. 23-4
Interesting quote. 

People around me are proving to me one by one that the answer is always in within.  At least I know for a fact that I m not alone in knowing that the answer is always in within.  They are right when everything is in motion and you are either 1 or 0.

Let no one imagine that by Our assertion that all created things are the signs of the revelation of God is meant that – God forbid – all men, be they good or evil, pious or infidel, are equal in the sight of God.

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The fisherman waited for the willing.  We re all so limited, if only we can do more.  Yet, it was never just how much you can do.  It is always a two way thing.  Understanding this will help unravel the mystery.  The awaiting one, the striving one, the warring one and the fisherman., they are just one.  Things are so fragile in life.  It is evident that a clear conscience is needed in helping us to make decision wisely.  I wonder: how long can I maintain this calmness and serenity?   Will I lose it again and re-seek it another time?  As they always told me, in life we make mistakes and we learn and get stronger each time.  Mistakes are inevitable and we learn by getting through.

The spirit of the fisherman must live on.  I pray that everything will turn out fine for with my current limitation, that is all that I can do.  If only I m way more advance than my current form… That will be too much then, hahaha…  Just remember no matter what, I will not let pitiful misunderstanding cloud my judgment, yet also understand that I m limited.

Interesting indeed, why? 

To understand why, lets reflect back on the past…  Amami once said, if don’t smile then cry arh!?!  People of Glory uttered, you are always smiling! Thinking back now, why smile! 

Though it is partially inherited, yet each smile have a meaning behind
it.  Smile in short is an expression of my feelings that can only be
understood by the people who are meant to.

Smile of amusement

the expressing of hilarity, belittling or astonish, cheerful indeed.

Smile of cluelessness

the expression of oblivion, I don’t know anything ^^

Smile of contentment

the expressive satisfaction, I have nothing yet own everything.

Smile of craziness

the expression of idiocy, you never know what you will expect next, unpredictable…

Smile of curiousity
the inquisitive expression, exclaimeth: let it flow!!! let it flow!!!

Smile of faintness
the indifferent expression, close to non-existence, for I do not care…

Smile of malice
the expression of malevolence, hurtful to the one that smileth…

Smile of mollifying
the pacifying expression, dispelleth animosity and hostility.

Smile of serenity

the expressive peace of mind, heart and soul.  Calm as the immovable mountain, extending as the vast ocean.

Smile of surprise

the expression of amazement, the common quote: surprise me!

Smile of vanity
the expression of conceit, from dust you come, to dust you return, hahahahaha…..

Many more smile and its meaning behind.  Cat just said, how come I don’t notice you always smile.  Well, normally we don’t smile, we just laugh!  True indeed haha…

The smiley project of 2004 reminded me of what was left forgotten back then.  It is time to revive it: Smiley Project 2008!!!!

I believe the day will come when I can pour out all that is to be shared more flowingly.  Be patient and put thy trust in Him
A beautiful way to end the day:

Should I just take a deep breathe of relief? or should I reflect and avoid re-occurrence? or should I learn the art of serenity?

What did I learn from this? 
Now I have to balance between indifference and the feeling of the
masses.  I can choose to don’t care.  But yet I choose to instead. 

The person who holds the answer maybe Paka.  I still can’t grasp your
flow although I have come to terms with my new fluidity.  Does this
mean I will re-experience the same thing with greater intensity again?

The fate concept and God calms the soul.  I m now just curious that can
I really change my character and personality.  Must I take the final
path of detachment to escape from the calamity that will be bring forth
by my self.  Level four detachment is the detachment of self
attachment. 

What makes some people calmer in some situation? 

My body is weakening.  The physical entity that houses the spirit needs
to be able to support the overwhelming spirit.  I must recuperate… 
Heal the hand and the fingers…

*I can sense that there is more than one flow around*

Nietzschen war hero brought something to my attention.  Though I don’t
get where he is coming from, but I sense some wisdom in it.  I
reflected and came up with some thought of my own.   I hope it is what
he is trying to stress to me. 

the keyword he gave is: silence and stubbornness

I don’t know from what direction he is coming from.  But I pretty much
have my own thought on this as well.  You don’t know how grateful I m
for you to be straight to me.

My thoughts:
The tongue we speak, the eye we see, the heart we comprehend… it is
actually nothingness.  But what is nothingness.  Nothingness means
existence of the greater.  How one make something out of nothingness is
dependent on the fluid self.  Now I know what you all have been tying
to tell me.  I can see how the two different world merge.  Silence is
the key for me. 


The wise are they that speak
not unless they obtain a hearing, even as the cup-bearer, who
proffereth not his cup till he findeth a seeker, and the lover who
crieth not out from the depths of his heart until he gazeth upon the
beauty of his beloved.

My seeking of perfecting the One Philosophy is actually a myriad as I
came to realize.  It is the same as nothingness of all things.  Which
the wiseman Leo and I seems to agree on this weird nothingness.  The
consultation we just had is actually one of the best and comply to true
consultation standards.  Attentiveness and restraint is needed.  Both
can be achieved by understanding nothingness.

Fortunate day I have to say.  I met another person who gave me a good advice, confidence, and also enlightenment.  A compatriot who have a certain degree of similarity with myself in terms of condition and constraint.  Though she seems scary, but when you really get to know her, you will discover the wisdom she holds.  This once again proves that we mustn’t judge with our pitiful senses.

After listening to her history, it greatly reflected on myself and my current state.  It seems that the choice and path I m gonna take is indeed what I should go for.  She reinforced my will.  At the same time she opens another pathway which I greatly underestimated — home.  We are being sought after, whether the east or the west.  We are needed and there is no fear for everywhere lies a path. 
It is how we make the best out of what we have that matters.
With these words, my options have increased and I no longer worry about the shrouded path that lies ahead.

Never compare, or not you can die (死得咯)!!!
True indeed, it means we may not move on or will miss out if we often linger on something to tightly.  Understanding this greatly stabilized my "think too much" trait.  Now I m able to "think too much" yet maintain a higher degree of PBS.  The filtering ability is stronger now.  I still tend to push my limit

You can never make it back, and they never expect it back.  What you can do is go back and spend time with them.
She spilled it out straight from my heart.  I should put down my ego and follow my heart.  The dynamics is changing again and plans change once more.  I m beginning to catch the flow.

Judging by my current state, it is ridiculous to just stay in this comfort zone.  There is more for me to gain and I can maximize my potential.

Today again. another ancient being (Jill) also taught me something valuable. 
We never think too much, all we do is try to have fun. Finally we end up where we are and I m contented with what I achieved.  You can say it is fate.
The fate concept supporter.  Bear in mind she truly understands fate as in fated result and process as in effort.

1.1# Nowadays, the world is making it more serious for you people.
This is trying to tell us that we must take charge of our life and choose.  Do not let things go by.

1.2# Nowadays, you guys are more serious in life.
This version is telling those of us who are too serious to relax.  We can’t control everything.

The last two quote is the true definition of the fate concept.  Control yet don’t expect.  Work yet don’t yearn.  Process but not the result.  Damn they really pump me with the drugs of life.  I wonder what is next for me to learn.  I can’t wait for my next lesson in life.

These words seems to hold no ground, but in reality, it reflects the
greatness behind.  It also reflects the true nature of this man and his
vision.  Many may say he ain’t a suitable candidate.  But he did his
very best by not compromising his belief and values to achieve what he
set out to do.  The man who will go against the will of many (in the
most moderate manner) just to accomplish something that must be done
years ago.  Many in the past have not the courage to walk his path. 
The will is so strong and the plan is in motion, people will only
appreciate it when he is gone.

*no point leaving any comment about this, like him, I don’t feel the
need to explain in depth, what you can see and comprehend depends on
yourself.
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Life is full of mystery and wonders, we keep meeting many different
people.   Some are just destined to be part of your life while others
are just guest stars (plagiarized from a special friend).  In and out,
those many faces form different kind of bond.  I would like to welcome ねぇちゃん
to the family.  I feel young and protected once more.  Got to thank you
for letting me experience the joy being the younger one.  This feeling
is something I long yearned.  I never expected to truly experience that
feel.  Oh well, no more complains I guess. 

Back to my role now.  I can now perform better in whole with this new
experience.  Life compensate our deficiencies in the most unexpected
manner.  We must be attentive for they are always around us if we know
how to seek.

No regrets I guess, I just have to do what is right and put my trust in Him.  

 ありがとう, ねぇちゃん!!!