Archive for August, 2006

遗恨

当小男孩发现自己喜欢上小女孩,小男孩平静的心灵也渐渐地被敲碎了。
 
心中的杂乱是因为对这份感情认真而引起的。小男孩担忧自己对小女孩的认识及了解不足,也因为时间的压逼下而不能逐步的认识小女孩,结果心中矛盾。不知该如何走?如何去?如何说?如何做?
 
最终,小男孩打算向小女孩告白一切,同时想趁此机让小女孩表达她的意思,希望能从中得到答案。
 
可是,当小男孩将向小女孩谈论此事时,偶然之下,小男孩无意中发现了一些小女孩的心底话。困扰的烦恼似乎得到了解脱。得到的答案虽符合成熟心灵的成长,但小男孩的内心却还有点遗憾。也许是放不下,但为了尊重小女孩的“意思”,只好默默接受,听天由命归于缘分。
 
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正当想恢复宁静那一刻,小男孩既然发现到原来自以为所知道的并非全实。小女孩一部分的内心话;也是最关键地那一部分却不是她的意思。
 
这时的小男孩突然陷入痛悔及懊丧间,痛恨自己为何未问清楚前便自己亲手割破。为何自己自作聪明,未问清而下定论。与其在一旁猜测小女孩的心意,不如直接上前问之。可惜一切已晚了,大伤已造成,小男孩知道以往的时刻再也不会回来了。
 
若有第二次机会,小男孩决会直接的说出心底话究问到底,再也不让对方以及自己猜测。
 
现只剩的只有悲伤及怨很。

悲:为了所失而伤之!怨:为了愚冲而恨之!

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Sorrow of Growth

Pain
just ca…an’t let them 
or they just never end
O my heart O my sor….row!
 
Love(*)
I can never..er forget
but may not understand
O my dear O my dar…ling!
 
Self(**)
a sacrfice to made
which I do not intend
but it for us very best
theres no choice theres no choice set!
 
Time(***)
it whats that limits all
since fate made it such so
why earlier we never met
I lament why this hap…pen! 
 
Chance (**)
let it go..o..es once more
now I have to regret
there is nothing more to stash
O I m hurt O my sor….row!
 
Depress
in heart it manifest
causing hurt in everywhere
I detest grief and sor…row!
 
Friends(*)
they dun really understand
what I m really m
I’m alone I a lone…ne!
 
Peace(**)
which is now..au not there
chaos is everywhere
place me plea..se anywhere
I seek help I need re..efuge!
 
Lost(*)
in a place o..of no where
just seeking a way back
bring me back bring me back….. man!
 
Curse(**)
that is what my life seems as
the sorrow..o.ful test
which will makes me a man
end it fast end it fa…..ster!
 
Life(***)
how long have it to go on
now I m fu..ll of resent
to the depths I have descend
what more that can be mend
liberate me liber….ate me!
 
For God
my final hope lies there
long wandering out there
no reason for me to turn back
not till all….
till we truely gather….r…..! 
 
 
This song depicts the sacrifices that have been made for the spiritual self to grow
The pain that exist spawn from the desires that have to be let go
It is the pain of detachment, detachment of love, passion and self

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手掌是肉,手背也是肉;A Debt of Sins

Saddening to know that the sins in the past will haunt you in the distant future.  Or rather it is something that was not really care for or dealt with that was left to go on.  The retribution gradually built up with me not knowing how will it affect me in the future.   Naive of me not to know that one day the deeds that one have done will be tasted in future.
 
Now that me have realize it, its time to pay the price.  It arises when the dearest around will get hurt by the brethrens who journey along.  There is no one to blame but me self who planted the seed of pain in the very first.  What is left is to mend the damage that has been done.  How can this be settled with the utmost peace and serenity without instilling any feelings of ill in both parties.  The differences that arise between is nothing more than childs play compare to the greater picture of integrity and values.  The great sin lies within the prevention of both to acheive higher level of self perfection.  Why must this punishment come in a form of guilt, a guilt which meant the obstruction of a greater vision and future lying ahead.  All perish to a certain extend due to me fault…..
 
When can the burden of linked sins originating from me or me acting as a source of pain be lifted from me.  What is left is for me to patch the holes with utmost caution and not to further enlarge the void that exist.
 
The greatest punishment of a sin is not the pain of material but the pain of the soul.  Sorry to all that has been suck into me web of naive fault, me hope that all of our growth will not be affected by me debt of sins.  This is a guilt that have to be live with till all of you are safe…..

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